Illustrations by Liz Zonarich accompany a piece by Harvard staff writer Samantha Laine Perfas about overcoming regret, featured in the podcast “Harvard Thinking.” In this episode, experts discuss strategies for handling regrets over past mistakes and missed opportunities. Samantha Laine Perfas engages with three professionals, including palliative care expert Susan Block, behavioral scientist Leslie John, and neuroscientist Elizabeth Phelps, to explore why we often regret inactions more than actions.
Elizabeth Phelps suggests that instead of dwelling on regret, individuals should consider what can be learned from the situation and how it might aid future growth. The podcast, accessible on platforms like Spotify, Apple, and YouTube, delves into making peace with our regrets. Samantha Laine Perfas emphasizes the challenge of moving past things we said or did, as well as opportunities we missed.
Behavioral scientist Leslie John describes regret as an emotion driven by counterfactual thinking, often resulting in stress and negative feelings. Elizabeth Phelps agrees, noting that regret involves a sense of personal responsibility, unlike other emotions like disappointment. Susan Block differentiates regret from remorse, which involves a desire to make amends for harm caused to others.
Phelps mentions that research on personality types and regret is limited but suggests variability in individuals’ likelihood of experiencing regret. Susan Block explains that certain personality disorders, like sociopathy, are linked to a lack of empathy and guilt, whereas depressive disorders may lead to rumination over past mistakes. Leslie John highlights the role of empathy in feeling regret and remorse.
Block provides a personal example of regretting her past behavior towards her sister, illustrating the difference between internalized regret and the externalization involved in remorse. Leslie John notes that people often regret actions more immediately but tend to regret inactions more as time passes. This shift is partly because imagining alternative outcomes for inactions is easier over time, as noted by psychologist Thomas Gilovich.
Original Source: news.harvard.edu
